Not such a good day

And then indeed there are other days when, even though its quiet and peaceful and nothing is stressful, it is all too hard. I am waiting, again, for information, for appointments. I have resolved to take what action I can in such circumstances, and then appreciate the time, relax into it, because this moment now [...]

Dream driver

I had another short dream, related to the previous one I’ve written about. It continues on the ‘whose driving’ theme.
I am in a van, Kombi-sized, with a closed two-seater cabin. I am in the passenger seat. The van is moving, but there is no driver, as in the previous dream. This time I am not [...]

On death and hope

 
The strangest thing happened tonight. The strangest thing, I’m a little scared of writing it. But it is not scary. It is the opposite of scary. So I will write it.
We moved all the furniture in the living rooms around today. It is most satisfactory, I can take pleasure in my house again. But the [...]

What does it mean?

This is my interpretation of the dream in yesterday’s post.
Overall, the feeling of the dream was that everything is okay. I’ve been managing with one hand, but in a dangerous situation. I felt that overall my priorities were right, that this was the way it had to be, even though I was doing too [...]

A life dream

 I had a dream that helps me with my current situation (described on the About page, and in the two posts below).
I was in a vehicle, like a Moke, a low vehicle with open sides. My grandmother and my youngest child are sitting in the back. For some reason, I can’t, or I don’t want [...]

More about suffering

Continuing further on the distinction between pain and suffering. On Monday, when I was feeling sure that the pain in my hips was arthritis,  rather than metastatic bone cancer, I found that the physical pain itself lessened.  I was much more able to walk. I also found myself being profoundly joyful about the possibility of [...]

Pain and suffering

First, my definitions:
Pain – a physical or emotional condition that we perceive as ‘hurting’.
Suffering – a mental state, that often, but not always, accompanies pain.
I have tended to see the two as synonymous, but now I find they can be, and often are, separate.
Pain is a physical or emotional stimulus that is not pleasant. [...]

The Vision

I will start with the vision. Not my vision. A vision that was given to me by an angelic friend. A vision of two little girls, standing under an acacia tree, next to a long low building, with an elemental wind of sadness whirling around them.
Behind the girls are rolling green hills. A black [...]

Living with flies

To continue with the fly theme, broadening out from meditation into life in general – something that I am always trying to do. I treat so many ‘problems’ like the fly. I spend so much time and energy in worrying about what is going to happen next, what might happen, about what has happened previously(less [...]

Meditation with a fly

My sister says that insects are a specially designed challenge to meditators. I try to recall this when being bitten (greatest challenge), crawled over, or buzzed. Until given this piece of wisdom, my usual strategy was to give up, with varying degrees of frustration, annoyance, or acceptance, after varying amounts of time trying to [...]