Compassionate witness or inspector?

Being in the moment means observing awareness as well as being and doing. Wayne Dyer calls this taking the position of the compassionate witness to your life. This is part of awareness of love and perfection in the moment. I try to nurture it.  
This morning though I noticed that quite often my observer is [...]

Staying alive

The Bee Gees cover concert was fun. I had a great view from the wheelchair – don’t know about the person behind me, but I was level with the stage, and I could see over the whole audience. People were up and dancing at their seats, in the aisles. I did lots of wheelchair dancing, [...]

On chanting and the best of all possible worlds

I chant the Lotus Sutra, nam-myoho-renge-kyo, which is part of many Buddhist traditions, but I have learned it through SGI Buddhism. To me, what it stands for is the divine perfection of everything. When I chant nam-myoho-renge-kyo, the primary focus I have is that everything is perfect as it is, and also perfect in how [...]

Contradictions

No final decisions yet on next week, for there is still this week to go through…I had blood tests today and at 5pm got a call to go up to the hospital because I had low potassium levels. I put it off until tomorrow because I would have been there all night.  
Before I had [...]

Photographs and memories

Thinking about early memories, I realize how photographs have a big impact on what I remember. There are some photographs of me, about 1 year old, stout in a (duffel?) coat, a coat with those oblong buttons that go through loops on the outside. My hair is still soft and short. I am holding the [...]

To face reality or to look away?

How much is it necessary, right now (or next week), to face up to exactly what is happening in my body? I would rather wait. I would rather nothing was changing too, but it is…but is it changing urgently enough that I need to find out now? Couldn’t I wait and see, seeing as it [...]

Letting go of little things

Today was about letting small changes flow naturally into my time, letting go of the resistance. It wasn’t easy, but it did evolve, with degrees of acceptance. It increased my awareness of how letting go of little things on a moment to moment basis makes a big difference to enjoying and being in the present. 
I [...]

A bird of chaos

I remember being in the kitchen of our flat in
Moyard
Park in
Belfast, Northern Ireland, where I was born. I am sitting at the table, my feet dangling down from the chair. Suddenly there is something noisy and unusual happening. Beating swirls through the air, sudden movement in front, behind, all around. What is it?  
“Oh, a [...]

Better than yesterday

Everything is much better this morning. Not physically, I guess it’s similar, although my face is a bit more relaxed, but nose is not right. But I feel bright and my head feels clear. I slept well and didn’t wake up until 8.30. The past few mornings, I’ve been waking up early and still tired [...]

Loss

It’s been hard this afternoon. The feeling in my nose chased away as it has off and on, and hasn’t really come back over the past few hours. The left side of my face won’t move properly, and my left back molar feels loose, the gum has receded. Air feels cold in my numb nostrils, [...]