Meditate as desired

These words are from Swami Shankarananda, from his book, Happy for no good reason. They are very strengthening for me today. I have been told, again, to try to meditate sitting up instead of lying down. My mind fills with fear and doubt. What if I don’t get better because I am lying down instead of sitting up? How could this be? I know that I don’t know everything, hardly anything, about how all of this ‘works’. But I do know that there are many different ways, and many different claims. I also know about the effects upon myself, right now, in the present. One of the effects, today, was that I felt weary at the prospect of my meditation session, instead of delighted, overjoyed, looking forward to it as one of the highlights of the day. And I really do need highlights and things to look forward to in my days. Times of release and relaxation. I think my meditation, although based on chi kung meditation techniques, generally reaches the state described as ‘meditation’ in Ian Gawler’s You can conquer cancer book. It is a state of deep relaxation, peace, presentness, and healing. Afterwards, my mind is clear and peaceful, and I feel at one with the world and what is.Ian Gawler says that someone in my state of health should meditate in this way (in any symmetrical position, although again sitting is more recommended) for 3 hours a day. Chi kung practice says that one shouldn’t meditate more than 30 minutes in a lying down position at one time – although 3 hours sitting up would be acceptable.I generally do 45 mins-1hr lying down, and then 2×40 minute chanting sessions, which produce a different, activating principle inside me. This balance seems good to me, and leaves me time to read and talk and stretch and eat and watch movies and write in my blog. I helps me enjoy life. And surely that is the point, especially now. But I do experience doubt, fear, that I am placing my own sense too high, when there are all these others who surely know more than me. But how can I know which/who are right, anyway, when they all say somewhat different things? Surely in the end it is what I sense myself, and what seems right to me now, today, and makes my life better, now, today – surely that is what is right? What else can be? 

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