When I read and think and feel about producing positive outcomes in life – through faith, prayer, meditation, chanting, manifesting, positive thinking – almost any strategy – there is always this paradox at some stage. The paradox that one has to have complete and utter faith in the outcome, as well as simultaneously letting go of the outcome. As though it is the thought, the mental pattern itself, which is the active component, not the ‘burden’ of the thought, the actual responsibility for the action happening. It is, like so much else spiritual, a reconciliation of opposites. Sometimes I have a feeling that the two states can and do co-exist in me for a wonderful moment. A moment in which I have complete faith in the outcome, without the pressure of an enormous attachment to the outcome. The attachment part is so difficult. I worry, if I give up the attachment, if I let go of the attachment, am I not also letting go of the faith that it will happen? But that is a ‘rational’ argument. I think it is more of a koan. Something that must be approached non-rationally, through meditation, through being. Sometimes I contemplate these ideas – a meandering, random way of letting my mind play with and observe the thoughts that appear. Not trying to repress or judge the thoughts, but not directing them either. It would be good for me, right now, to find that balance. There is joy in faith. There is also joy in letting go of attachment to outcome. Sometimes I feel weary of striving always to be so positive, so faithful. I am industrious – although (judgement!) – I could always be more industrious. But I realise that I do what I am. That is all I can do, and it is where I am right now. Perhaps one is always simultaneously having faith in the outcome and giving up the outcome. Perhaps that is how it is.