Being in the moment means observing awareness as well as being and doing. Wayne Dyer calls this taking the position of the compassionate witness to your life. This is part of awareness of love and perfection in the moment. I try to nurture it.
This morning though I noticed that quite often my observer is not so much a compassionate witness as an inspector. When I wake up, something in me notices how I feel, and then immediately makes a judgement. Is this a good enough feeling?
Occasionally, the inspector decides, yes, this is relaxation, this is happiness, this is contentment, and my feelings relax and everything is rosy. But more often, it judges, no. This leads my mind into a surge of activity. I identify the ‘problem-solver’ that tries to please this inspector of feelings as being my mind. I suppose the inspector of feelings is also part of my mind, but it seems like a distinct part, very rigid in its standards. My mind tries very hard to sort out what the problem is, with constant reference back to the inspector of feelings for judgement on whether or not this will make me and (even harder to judge), the loved ones around me, ‘happy’. Sometimes the inspector assesses that my feelings have lifted and are content after a few suggestions for being and doing. And other times, nothing will do. Sometimes the inspector is harsh, judging that my problems are caused by not doing exactly the right thing, not only in the past, but right now in the present, surely if only I tried harder, followed the right advice, understood things properly through better actions and thoughts, everything would be all right? If it isn’t, it must be my mistake, my fault, what can I do to change it?
The compassionate witness does not make judgements. The compassionate witness observes the feelings and thoughts, and accepts them, as part of the perfection of everything. Everything is all right… Even discontent, sadness, pain, suffering. Sometimes, not resisting these feelings gently lifts them, sometimes gloriously lifts them and replaces them with joy and lightness. Sometimes.
I will try to keep the compassionate witness there, in place of the inspector.